"Share your weaknesses. Share your hard moments. Share your real side. It'll either scare away every fake person in your life or it will inspire them to finally let go of that mirage called "perfection," which will open the doors to the most important relationships you'll ever be a part of.”
A lot of you might be shocked by this post, but I have to get it out. I am done trying to pretend. A lot of you guys always texts me and tells me how lucky I am to know people all around the world, and I am agree. I totally do! One of my very very good friends lives across the globe, which is very sad. But what makes me so lucky to have friends all around the world, when the county I live in now- I feel as lonely as never .. I feel lonely in company of others, because I know the people I used to hang with were just fake, and I don't need that anymore. That is why so many people haven't heard from me, because I am done hanging out with people trying to pretend.
I know that the lifestyle I have chosen doesn't make it easy for people to understand, and know what to talk to me about. I am a human after all, life, love, travels, food???? I know who has always been there for her friends when they needed it. Either it was a 2 am phone call, a late night drive just to make them feel better or just tons of inspiring messages to their phones until they finally realized that things weren't as bad. One thing I know for sure about myself, is that I am a person who wants to see everyone succeed, and who is always there for someone. I don't know what I did wrong in life to deserve to have all these "pretending to my friends" in my life.
It is sad that I have so much to give, but no one to share it with. I go out let's say once a month, and when I do, I see a lot of people I know, and that is so nice, and they are all like " Are you in Norway?" So I can understand that it cannot always be easy to know where I am, but how about asking and including anyways? I don´t know how many times I hear about things, and have to invite myself to come. It feels sad having to invite myself to places. To not have anyone to hang out with, call or just watch a movie with. I can go weeks without getting a single message on my phone. UNLESS I am the one sending one out. What kind of life is that? That is what I call lonely. And that's what I am.
I am tired of pretending, pretending to be happy, pretending to have something to do, and pretending to have good friends. I can count one or two people max that I can rely on, but even with them, I have to be the one sending out messages. But that's ok, because I know they truly care.
I just wish for ones that someone actually wanted to be my friend, my true friend and actually care for me, and not run away when things are hard. Because that's what a lot of you did, and I don't need that in my life ..